nAcciyAr tirumozhi XI - tAm ugakkum
ANDAL had rested her hopes of attaining Him on two
(1) kumaranAr Sol (10-4), and
(2) the SaraNAgati that she has performed through her guru and father, periAzhvAr.
Time passes; no sign of kaNNan, and her longing for Him increases. She becomes depressed and suffers from sickness of separation from Him. Everything around her uninterruptedly reminds her of emperumAn, and she is being hurt by everything like bhIshmA was hurt by arjuna's arrows in the mahAbhArata war. All the mothers in the neighboring households and her friends throng around her to find out exactly what is bothering her. She tells them about the pitiful plight her emperumAN has left her in. It is the same emperumAn who spent sleepless nights and starved without taking food when He had been separated from sItA pirATTi, and the same emperumAn who rescued rukmiNi from SiSupAlan. She declares to them that she firmly believes that He will not let her down, and she will still patiently wait for Him and will hold on to her life, because He had unfailingly helped others like her before.
en Sa'ngu vaLaigaLai arangar kavarndu pOnArE
tAm ugakkum tam kaiyil Sa'ngamE pOlAvO
yAm ugakkum em kaiyil Sa'ngamum EndizhaiyIr
tI mugattu nAgaNai mEl SErum tiru ara'ngar
A! mugattai nOkkArAl ammanE! AmmanE!
A. Meaning from SrImAn SaDagOpan's tamizh treatise:
Oh! my friends, who are adorned with jewelry! Aren't the bangles that I used to wear in my hands as important to me as the Sa'nkham that He is wearing in His hand is for emperumAN' Then, why is it that He takes away my bangles (i.e., I keep pining for Him and my hands are becoming thinner and thinner, and the bangles keep slipping out)' By comparison, His Sa'nkham never leaves His hand. Maybe He thinks that it is enough if His Sa'nkham stays put in His hand, and it doesn't matter if I loose my bangles (Sa'ngam in tamizh also means bracelet). Alas! Alas! That tiru ara'ngan, who is lying on the fierce-looking, fire-spitting anantAzhvAn, is not even looking at my face'.
B. Additional thoughts from SrI PVP:
tAm ugakkum tam kaiyil Sa'ngamE pOlAvO yAm ugakkum em
Just as He is fond of the Sa'nkham that He has in His hand, I also am fond of the Sa'nkhu vaLai (bangle) that I am wearing in my hand. If He takes away my Sa'nkhu vaLai, shouldn't He give me His Sa'nkham' If He says, "You are a paratantrai; I am a svatantran; you shall obey what I ordain, but you cannot force me", that does not sound right because He would be saying that without knowing my pining for Him and thus my weakness. If His response is: "I shall not give anything I have in My hand; and I shall snatch away what others have in their hand", that would be unacceptable because it is not fair. If His response is: "We men will do anything we want because it is purusha svabhAvam, and you women should just keep quiet like women and watch", I can say that I know how to make Him bend by doing 'maDal Urdal' etc. To my question 'Why do you refuse to give me my vaLai that you have in your hand', if He says 'Because I like it', then can't I ask: 'just like that, I am also fond of the Sa'nkham that you have in your hand; So give that to me'' If He responds: 'I am fond of my pAncajanyam; how can I give it to you'', gOdai's response would be: 'that was not meant for you; all your divya astrams were meant for your devotees'. ('na tE rUpam na cAkArO na AyudhAni na cAspadam' - jitantE 1- 5)
This phrase can also be looked at in a slightly
different way, with the 'tAm' and 'yAm' interchanged,
which results in a new anubhavam by SrI PVP:
tAm ugakkum em kaiyil Sa'nkhamE pOlAvO yAm ugakkum tam kaiyyil Sa'nkhamum.
EmperumAn seems to take the position that He will not give up the Sa'nkham that is in His hand that is dear to ANDAL, nor will He will give back the Sa'nkham that is ANDAL's hands that are dear to Him. If it is fair that those who like something should get it, just as you have my kai vaLai (bangle), your kai Sa'nkham must come to my hand. If it is fair that each owner should keep what they own, my kai vaLai must stay with me. The only way these two conditions can simultaneously be fulfilled is if we are united (samSlesham). That is the parama tAtparyam conveyed in these words by ANDAL.
'veLLai viLi Sa'nkhu iDankaiyyil koNDa vimalan' (NT 5-2), so saying gOdai aspired for only one of His AbharaNa-s, namely the Sa'nkham; Just because of this, He took away all her vaLaigaL in toto - 'tAn koNDa sari vaLaigaL' (NT 8-5). He did not leave me even one vaLai for me to wear in the memory that it is dear to Him; He took everything. If it be asked of ANDAL: 'Why can't you desire all His Sa'nkhams instead of only one'' the truth is that just as there is only one ISvaran, there is only one Sa'nkham that is unmatched by any other Sa'nkham.
Sa'nkham is an Ayudham in His hand; why did godai want the weapon of all the things that He possesses' It is because she does not see it as a weapon in His hand. Just as the bangles in her hand are jewelry for her who is the best among women (nArINAm uttamA vadhUh), she sees the Sa'nkham in emperumAn's Hand as the AbharaNam for the purushottaman. So, there is nothing wrong in desiring that.
EndizhaiyIr: ANDAL is addressing the other womenfolk around her as 'you who are all wearing lots of jewelry'. For her who is without any jewelry because of her separation from Him, it is surprising that there are those who can manage to keep their jewelry still on themselves unlike her. It is as if these are people who have managed to escape from praLayam!
SrI PVP refers to a similar state in which rAma finds Himself when He loses sItA pirATTi in the forest. In that state, Lord rAma's thoughts are on how come rAvaNa left alone the mates of the male peacocks, since the peacocks were dancing together with their mates merrily.
mayUrasya vanE nUnam rakshasA na h*rdA priyA |
tasmAn n*rtyati ramyEshu vanEshu saha kAntayA ||
(rAmAyaNam kishkihnDa kANDam 1-40)
tI mugattu: SrI PVP's anubhavam is that ANDAL is using 'tI mugattu' to refer to Adi Seshan in a reprimanding tone. She feels: 'AdiSEshan knows my situation; yet, he is giving his body to serve as bed for Him. AdiSeshan might not know the pangs of separation, but he knows the taste of being with Him. Knowing that, he will also know what it means to be separated from Him. Given this, why is He giving his body to my emperumAn when He has chosen to be separated from me'' Just as she referred to her own father earlier as 'tangaL devarai' (since periAzhvAr had a great relation with Him while she was having her difficulties with Him), she is now referring to tiru anantAzhvAn as 'tI mukham', because he is not helping her to get her emperumAn and instead he is establishing a relationship with Him for himself.
tImugattu: instead of feeling sorry for people suffering like me and showing compassion, this nAgaNai is having a face that looks like it is spewing out fire.
sErum tiru arangar: It looks like emperumAn is having His association with tiru anantAzhvAn just to get instruction and training on how to be fierce, rude, uncompassionate, etc. Or, it can mean that when this tiru arangan goes to sleep on His bed, no other Ayudam is needed but this tiru anantAzhvAn who has faces spewing out fire. EmperumAn is ensuring that people like me who are out of His favor keep away from Him and do not approach Him, by associating Himself with this bed of fire-spewing tiru anantAzhvAn. Even if people manage to approach him, He will destroy those whom He does not like - 'eynda paNak kadir mEl vevvuyirppa vAynda madu kaiDavarum vayiRu urugi mANDAr' (mUnRam triuvandAdi 66) - He was lying on AdiSeshan, who is adorned with the lustrous pearls, and when madhu and kaiTabha approached Him, He breathed out a long breath, and with that their very guts burned out completely, and they died instantaneously.
sErum: This aranganAthar's behavior is just opposite to what is a normal behavior in this world. This bed was meant be for Him and me, who is His nAyaki. And, He is lying there without me!
tiru arangar: He came to tiru ara'ngam from SrIvaikunTham to help bhaktas in distress. But after coming here, He forgot all that and is lying on tiru anantAzhvAn, falling in love with the softness and cool fragrance of the bed and is sleeping! It would have been okay if He did not help me when He was far away in parama padam, but it is inexcusable that He comes to tiruara'ngam and then keeps ignoring me.
Amugattu : Alas! I am done! One can bear if a nAyakan forgoes his love for his nAyaki in separation. But, should He forego kaN nOkkam (looking at me)' Or His karuNai (compassion)'
ammanE ammanE: This word depicts fear. ANDAL's thoughts seem to be: 'During separation, when I think of Him, it should be a sweet thought. Now He does not even look at my face, and I am afraid to look at His face. It has come to the situation where now I get fear at His thought as if I have seen a snake or a tiger. Alas! How was He then, and how He is today!'
'At least bhIshma could breathe his last by thinking of hari in the last moment, just as all yogi-s successfully get His thought in their last moment. Even this may be only for the male folk like bhIshma, and not for womenfolk like me. I may not be able to think of His face even at my last moment.'C. Additional thoughts from SrI PBA:
EndizhaiyIr: Instead of addressing her friends as 'My dear friends!', 'All of you girls around me!', etc., she is addressing them as 'You who are able to hold on to your ornaments unlike me!', wondering aloud how they are able to keep themselves in that shape without feeling the separation from Him.
mugattai nOkkArAl: Even if He does not embrace me tightly, can't He at least look at my face' What have I done that I don't even deserve that much from Him?
D. Additional thoughts from SrI UV:
a'nkham: Sa'nkhu/conch or kai vaLai/bangle. gOdai wants to show that what is in her hand is equal to what is in emperumAn's hand; so, instead of choosing different terms to refer His Sankham and to her ornaments (e.g., as tiruvAzhi and bangles), she chooses the same word 'Sa'nkham' to denote the pA'ncajanyam in His hand and the bangles in her hand. Both have sweet sounds to them.EndizhaiyIr: 'Even though I have lost my bangles because of my longing for Him, at least you all hold on to your bangles and don't lose them because of your worry over me. How sad it is that I have become the object of your deep concern and worry'.
Sa'nkhamE pOlAvO: Those who don't normally wear jewelry but make their weapons look like jewelry know the importance of the AbharaNa-s. In this case, can't this emperumAn at least treat my bangles as important as His Sa'nkham'
tI mugattu: On the one hand, I am here with my whole self scorched by viraha tApam, and He does not feel like even looking at my face because it is scorched by this fire. On the other hand, He is lying on this AdiSeshan who has a thousand faces spiting scorching fire. This does not seem consistent. If He comes and takes one look at my face, all the scorching on my face will go away.
If it be said that He is attached to AdiSeshan because he is protecting Him, then by reverse logic, emperumAn should be attached to me because I need His protection.
Will you go to tiru ara'ngam and tell Him that it is only fair that He takes me to Him on this nAgaNai? Or, will you at least take away His Sa'nkham and bring it to me?
But then again, with the fire-spitting faces of tiru anantAzhvAn, no one can go near Him, no one can convey my suffering to Him, and no one can bring me His pA'ncajanyam. Thus we are at a stalemate, where He won't look at my face, and no one else will look at His face to tell Him of my agony. AdiSeshan is supposed to spit fire from his face only during the praLaya kAlam to destroy the whole world, but it looks like tiru ara'ngan's nAgaNai mugattI has been created for destroying me right now! Alas! Alas ! (ammanE! ammanE!)
(eleventh tirumozhi - pAsuram 2 -
ezhil uDaiya ammanaimIr!)
en vaLaigaL kazhalginRanavE
ezhil uDaiya ammanaimIr! en ara'ngattu in amudar
kuzhal azhagar vAi azhagar kaN azhagar koppUzhil
ezhu kamalap pUvazhagar emmAnAr ennuDaiya
kazhal vaLaiyait tAmum kazhal vaLaiyE AkkinarE
A. Meaning from SrImAn SaDagOpan's tamizh treatise:
'Oh my beautiful mothers! My emperumAn is lying beautifully in tiru ara'ngam and is the amRtam (insatiable nectar) for me; His beauty is well known - He is known for His dark blue locks of curly hair; He has the most beautiful mouth and eyes (pavaLa vAi kamalc cem kaN); and is exquisitely beautified by the lotus flower that arises from His navel. He has made the bangle which is called a kazhal vaLai (because it can be taken out of the hand), into a kazhalum vaLai (the bangle that is slipping out of the hand) in my case.
B. Additional thoughts from SrI PVP:
In the last pAsuram, gOdai described to those who were
adorned with AbharaNams, her plight of having lost her
AbharaNams. In this pAsuram, she is talking to those
who are blessed with beauty, about her plight of
having lost her beauty.
ezhil uDaiya ammanaimIr: Because of their age and
position of being elders, godai should not normally
discuss her viraha tApam with them. If anything, she
should hide her having lost her beauty because of
viraha tApam, and instead make it appear to them that
she has not lost it. But instead, she is lamenting to
them explaining that her beauty has been taken away
(just as SrI rAmapirAn lamented about His pangs of
separation to lakshmaNan, even though He should have
hidden His feelings from His brother, who is also
separated from his wife -
rAmAyaNam kishkindA kANDam 1-3). en ara'ngattu in amudar:
SrI PVP enjoys this by looking at it as 'en amudar', 'ara'ngattu amudar', and 'in amudar'. en amudar: He is not just the amRtam that is common like common salt to all the dEvAs and shared alike by them. He is my own amRtam, special to me alone.
ara'ngattu amudar: This is not the amudam that is in SrI vaikunTham, far removed from all of us; this is the amRtam that is here, near us, in tiru ara'ngam. in amudar: this is not just the amRtam that gives strength to the body; it is the Ananda amRtam that strengthens the life source itself. kuzhal azhagar, vAi azhagar, kaN azhagar, koppUzhil ezhu kamalap pUvazhagar: The beauty of the meaning of this string of words stands out if we rearrange the sequence as 'kaN azhagar, kuzhal azhagar, vAi azhagar, koopUzhil ezhu kamalap pUvazhagar'.
looks at emperumAn's eyes. Not being able to
withstand looking at His eyes directly, (which appear
to be piercing her like arrows), gOdai turns her eyes
towards His beautiful wavy hair. These beautiful
locks of hair naturally lead her to look at His
beautiful mouth. Being subdued by the beauty of His
mouth, her eyes wander to His triuvADit tAmaraigaL;
and on the way, His beautiful navel with the lotus
arrests her attention.
How come ANDAL is not describing His svarUpa guNa-s,
and instead describes the beauty of His tirumeni'
Being lovelorn, instead of thinking about His svarUpa
guNams, ANDAL falls in love with His tirumEni azhagu
Just as one is conquered by His beautiful lotus-like
'jitantE puNDarIkAksha namastE visvabHavana, namastEstu hRshIkeSa mahA purusha pUrvaja:?' (jitantE 1 - 'Oh Sen-tAmaraik kaNNA! You conquered my AtmA; it is not mine; it is yours'),
gOdai is here conquered by His beauty even more than His Seshitvam. emmuDaiya kazhal vaLaiyait tAmum kazhal vaLaiyE
AkkinarE: 'It is not the fault of ara'ngan that my bangles are becoming loose and falling out. I am the one at fault; I chose to wear a kazhal vaLai (the bangle that can be taken out), but He interpreted it to mean that I chose to wear kazhalginRa vaLai (the bangles that are meant to slip out or fall out), and so He has made it come true. So it is not all His fault that my bangles are slipping out. If I had worn a kazhalAda vaLai (a bangle that cannot become loose and fall out), may be it would have stayed in my hand'.
C. Additional thoughts from SrI UV:
ezhil uDaiya ammaniamIr: godai recognizes that there are so many people who are beautiful all around, like the ammanaimIr around her. Some people are beautiful in some aspects, and others in other aspects. But His beauty is something unique (kuzhal azhagar, vAi azhagar, kaN azhagar, koopUzhil ezhu kamalp pU azhagar), and is not comparable to anything else that is known. In addition to being beautiful in every aspect of His appearance, He is also 'in amudar', and above all He is her nAthan. How can she be separated from Him and still have her bangles stay in place'
Note that gOdai used the word 'Sa'nkham' in the previous pAsuram with two different meanings, and now she is using the word 'kazhal vaLai' here with two different meanings.pASuram 11.3(eleventh tirumozhi - pAsuram 3 -pongOdam SUzhnda)
A. Meaning from SrImAn SaDagOpan's tamizh treatise:
tiru ara'ngattu SelvanAr is the sovereign ruler of this Earth surrounded by the mighty oceans, as well as SrI vaikunTham, and is ruling all of these to the point of perfection and with righteousness. Doesn't He have enough wealth? Did He need to usurp my kOl vaLai (the bangle in my hand) also? I hope that this takes care of His poverty.
B. Additional thoughts from SrI PVP:
po'ngu Odam SUzhnda bhuvaniyum: The earth is bounded by the oceans on all four sides. Even though they are pounding the earth with powerful waves on all sides, still they do not exceed the bounds of the earth. Even though this is the rule for even the earth and the oceans, somehow He does not respect any bounds in my case, and freely exceeds them.
viNNulagum: paramapadam does not have any bounds like bhUmi does. So He can do whatever He wants there. Even then, He would not cross the bounds there (as He is doing here in the bhUmi which has bounds).
a'ngu Adum SOrAmE ALginRa: This Earth and SrIvaikunTham are two aspects of His wealth (ubhaya vibhUti). He takes care of both His vibhUti-s without any let-down. When this earth is destroyed, He protects it in His stomach, and during SRshTi kAlam, He re-establishes it in a sthUla state. He protects His nitya vibhUti in SrIvaikunTham by giving the permanent enjoyment of Himself to the nitya muktAs.
emperumAn: He is treating me as a third vibhUti by making sure I am not protected as either part of His lIlA vibhUti or part of His nitya vibhUti; instead, He treats me as His third vibhUti, and uses me to rule over me by giving me only pain and misery. I do not belong either here or there and am suffering in the middle.
Se'nkOl uDaiya tiruvara'ngac celvanAr: By His mere samkalpam, He makes everyone in SrIvaikunTham follow His Will; As if this is not enough, He came here and lied down in tiru ara'ngam. But it is not the periya perumAL of tiru ara'ngam who is ruling over the leelA vibhUti and the nitya vibhUti; it is His mere Se'nkOl that is at His command that is taking care of the administration of the ubhaya vibhUti-s. It is not that He is going to get His wealth enriched just by having my vaLai. It is only to torture me that He is doing this.C. Additional thoughts from SrI PBA:
ANDAL feels: Even though He is 'avApta samasta kAman - He Who already has whatever He wants', He made it appear that He was deficient in some way, and stole my bangles. So be it! Let His dAridryam be removed by this act of His!
D. Additional thoughts from SrI UV:
Adum SorAme: Earlier, we saw SrI PVP interpret this as 'ruling the ubhaya vibhUti-s without any let-down'. One of the interpretations given by SrI UV is 'He is taking care of the bhuvani and paramapadam without ever being tired'.
SelvanAr: He is Sriyah pati, and is it not a great wonder that He still needs my vaLai for His sustenance'
iDar tIrvar: It is a wonder that He who rules over all the worlds and paramapadam needs my bangles to remove His poverty - to remove His iDar.
It can be argued: 'emperumAn is the svAmi for these bangles also. He is using them as He wishes. What does it matter where my bangles fall out? It is His tiru uLLam that He makes them fall and He enjoys the situation. He can take them wherever He wants. The ocean with its rising waves is all His. What could we have done if my bangles had fallen out in the ocean? He owns the viNNulagu also; even if He owned only tiru arangam, we could not have retrieved my bangles. He might have given paramapadam to my bangles'.
Another way to look at this is that the loss of this wealth is one more step in removing ANDAL's worldly belongings. If all attachment to worldly belongings is removed, this leads to 'removal of all obstacles - iDar tIrdal'.
em kOl vaLai: The plural 'em' is used to denote that the bangle is common to both emperumAn and her. The greatness is that He has given her the bangle that is capable of removing even His own poverty.
em kOl vaLaiyAl iDar tIrvar AgAdE: In the last pASuram ANDAL made reference to her 'kazhal vaLai', or the bangle that is meant to be removed easily. Here she is referring to 'kOl vaLai'. SrI UV distinguishes the two by pointing out that kazhal vaLai-s are the ones that are loosely worn and make jingling sounds when coming into contact with each them, and the kOl vaLai-s are the ones that are worn tightly. In ANDAL's case, these are also being lost to emperumAn.
iDar tIrvar AgAde: This can be taken to mean 'there is nothing that He is going to achieve by having my bangle, and all that results is that you and I keep worrying about it'.